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ahshadowrai
Written Apr 30 2006, 03:48 PM
This is a fine piece hon, the "motif" is one truely some can realate too, awesome job w/the rhythmic flow. I lost it some though w/ "I just watch my life in decline." I would take out the word "in" it would hold to the rythem better, otherwise, another excellent one from you!
christian
Written Apr 30 2006, 02:29 PM
Wow this is really great.I can relate in everyway love it.kudos
little_goot
Written Mar 05 2006, 10:37 PM
"Waiting to forgive me. Waiting for me to forgive myself." This was my favorite part. A different way of looking at the saying "you are your toughest critic".
penaltychick42
Written Feb 27 2006, 04:43 PM
wow..this poem was excellent. To me at least, it describes me perfectly in a poetic way..i really like your poems your very talented.
missbow
Written Feb 25 2006, 01:25 PM
i can relate to the feelings you potray in this poem. i think it is great from start to end.
style
Written Feb 24 2006, 03:57 AM
your poems are good in conveying lonliness - they made me sad to imagine that isloation, but i enjoyed the imagery
lemon
Written Feb 23 2006, 08:31 PM
I liked this piece. The looming of an something that seems to help and hurt at the same time. Reminds me of an experience I once went through...good write.
maxie01
me too, I feel like I can relate to this.