And the other one I was working on for ages. Finished at last. My next submissions will be the audio version of these last two writes. If you didn't see my last write, I'm using my "natural" format from now on ( more info inside ). Enjoy. (:
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You certainly have a way with words! The feeling I got from this piece was that it was about loneliness within a relationship or friendship, a kind of detachment or gap between the two of you that you are struggling to bridge, or a growing separation with time and how hard that can be. Either way, it was a beautiful expression of feeling, I loved the eloquence of your metaphors; the water, and the storm. Fantastic.
witch_doctor_sakajawea
Thats an interesting poem, the repetition of the toung bit makes me think its a sort of song...
Anyway, I interpretied the first stanza as to be about you looking at a girl and your mind whirling through your feelings as you look at her.
I'm sorry but, the rest of the poem flew by me a bit.
It was interesting though.
You mentioned water alot. That was good because it caused connections throughout the poem, but I'm afraid i did not quite see what its significance was apart from the feeling of drowning.
hope this gave you some idea of my interpretation.