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nathan_nonsense
Written Sep 19 2009, 05:36 AM
extremely cliche, and totally absent of punctuation, which made it very hard to follow. perhaps put it into lines and add some punctuation here and there. then it'd be a poem.
bittersweet
I have to agree with nathan...
It didn't have any flow to it whatsoever.
Try breaking up the lines, and adding punctuation, and wording certain bits differently.