bomber324

Important thing

by bomber324, Apr 09 2010, 08:03 AM in thing, important, smart, talent, lazy,

This is my second try to publish of my poetry. this is not good either from my first. if you like it i thank you and i appreciate if you leave a positive comment

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Campbell

chicory

Written Apr 10 2010, 10:30 AM

Pretty good, might be better if you replaced the word "thing". It's used to much nowadays as a filler word. Push yourself. You can do better! I believe in you. :)

-Chicory