Because everyone else does

Because it doesn't exist

Because life goes on

Because it only brings pain

Because lust is so much more fun

Because a glance can only glean so much

Because cupid's arrows hurt like hell

Because affection leads to infection

Because headache and heartache go hand in hand

Because crushes can crush you

Because we all die alone

Because it will get your ass kicked literally and figuratively

Because it just a marketing campaign

Because Valentine's day alone is just another day

Because "I'm just not that into you"

Because women are harpies and men are scoundrels

Because true love is dead.